As I'm typing this, I'm back in hall in my own room, feeling so much yet so little at the same time.
Recess week, indubitably, was what I needed. A short break would do me good, I thought. Yet somehow, for some inexplicable reason, after a week, I still don't feel recharged at all. It's Sunday night and as I was on my way back to hall earlier on, I had this sudden feeling overwhelm me. I felt like I wasn't ready for the second half of the semester to commence. It's the last stretch of my Year 1 journey yet I don't actually want to be done with it. In fact, it scares me that time in university is passing by so quickly. In another 7 weeks' time, I'll be officially done with my first year.
Yet I can't wait for summer. I am looking forward to it with so much anticipation. Three months break - maybe that's what I need most, maybe that is what that's best for me.
The first half of the semester has been as stressful and exhausting as it could possibly get, so really.. I can only imagine what the second half has in store for me. Especially with all the group project submissions, individual assignment submissions, catching up on all my readings and school work, sports camp ocomm meetings and planning, and all the other external commitments... the list never ends.
But I remember challenging myself at the start of the new semester just 2 months ago that I got this, and I will start and end the semester well. Or at least give it my all so that I can look back and know that I gave all that I had, so I wouldn't have any regrets. And I suppose, despite all the hectic schedules and busy days that I will go through in the near future, these are also the days that I'll always remember at the end of my university life. A sense of fulfillment.
This is also possibly my last 7 weeks in hall since I might not be able to stay on. Sometimes I wished I hadn't placed myself in such a situation when I can't choose whether I want to stay on or not by being just a bit more actively involved in the activities held but oh well I guess it's too late to cry over spilled milk anyway. Right now, I'm just praying fervently for the best and lets say even if things don't turn out the way I want them to, well, at least I had a good time while these memories lasted.
Lets go, summer is waiting.
