Be A Good Man, Because A Woman Will Never Forget How You Treated Her

Too many of you say that women do not really want a nice guy. You firmly believe from your bad experiences that most women actually enjoy being treated badly. I can assure you this is not true.

Your words and your actions can have effects on a woman that will last her a lifetime. That cruel comment you made about her mother, that day you were so angry you called her out of her name, those times you ignored her for no reason at all, the times you chose not to text or call and decided your friends were more important than she was, the times you didn’t open her car door, or walk her to her front door like a lady, she carries those in her mind. And she carries them over to the next man.

Women remember every nice thing you do or say in the same way they remember every pitiless thing.

When you are good to a woman — even if it ends for whatever reason — she will always remember you. You may never know that, but she will. She will think about the way you made her laugh or the way you dried her tears. She will remember the way she could speak to you for hours. She will remember that you made her feel like a woman, that even when she was wrong, you still made her feel like a woman. You will be the standard for all of the men in her life that follow. If they can’t compete with you or do better, they become bottom of the barrel. You are the man whose shoes no one has yet to outshine. Continue to be that man because there is a woman who is going to adore you and appreciate you for everything you are worth.

A woman may choose to stay with a man who treats her badly because she fell in love with him during a time when he was pretending to be pleasant (somewhere in the beginning stages of their relationship). However, she won't last with a man who is malicious for the rest of her life. Over time, every mean or hurtful thing that man does will begin to build up inside of her like boiling water. 

That woman who was once in love and who once catered to her man's every whim will begin to fall out of love. She will become less caring, and less nurturing. Her heart will grow colder. He won't see it, not until it is too late. He is blind and will continue to mistreat her. An ignorant man will seal his own fate. He will think it's okay to treat his woman this way. She loves him so she is sure to stay. That man has no idea that his woman has an icy storm brewing inside of her heart. Where love once lived is a heart now torn apart. She loves him so much or so he believes. He knows she will stay, but what he chooses not to see is her mind has already broken away. 

So you have an option. Treat your women right or don't, but when you end up alone and can’t figure out what was the matter just remember that woman whose heart you shattered.

You can never take away the words you said. They will live with her until the day she is dead. So watch your words and be kind, not cruel, or you may end up sad and lonely.

There is only so much one heart can handle; only so much one girl can handle before she breaks.

Most women truly do not want much. It isn’t a lot to send her a good morning text. It isn’t a lot to call her on your free time. It isn’t a lot to take her out on dates and spend one on one time with her. It isn’t a lot to watch your mouth. It isn’t a lot to treat her like a woman. She will love and adore you for it.

There is a saying that whatever you give a woman she will give you ten times more. That saying couldn’t be truer. So if you want to be adored, and spoiled and loved, you must stop being vicious, selfish, and rude.

Nice guys do not finish last. Truly nice guys get the girl in the end. At the end of the day, no matter how much money you make or how many muscles you have, a woman looking for real love is going to find her worth, along with a man who deserves her. Your money will be spent, and your looks are sure to go, but if you have a good heart, love can flourish. So be the nice guy or risk losing your women to men who are far better than you ever could be.

This does not mean that you allow yourselves to be treated badly either, but it means opening your heart to good women. It means being a compromising person. It means being forgiving, and nurturing… the kind of man who would make a good husband and father. Do not be a doormat for a woman who does not appreciate you; however, if your woman loves and adores you, be kind because if you don’t, you will lose her in the end. 

Who am I kidding -

I'm not that happy after all.

Home

For some strange reason, lately I find myself constantly running back to this little space that contains my thoughts and feelings. Finals week has started and I had my second paper today, which didn't go well at all. But it's okay, it's okay, I shan't think about it anymore because more than anything else, I am so relieved and thankful that this module is finally over. Hopefully it's really "over", so I don't have to redo the module again next semester. While I was on my way back to hall after the paper earlier on, it crossed my mind again - the same thought that has been penetrating my mind almost every single day - to go home. I wanted to be home, to be in my own comfort zone. I wanted to feel safe, to be in the company of my family. I don't quite know how to go about in explaining this. I myself can't comprehend it either. Whatever the case, I'm glad to be home, even though that means I'll have to travel all the way from home back to campus for a paper in the late afternoon tomorrow. But being able to spend the night at home tonight outweighs the long journey back to school tomorrow, and basically, anything and everything else.

Odd enough, finals aren't exactly draining me the way I thought it would. If anything, I am more determined, and more excited for life than I've ever been before. Life after finals, life back at home for one entire month (yay), life like how it has always been before November. Of course, my days do have their gloomy moments, and those really emotional nights when I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down... or times when I just wanna lie down on my bed and not do anything at all besides stare blankly into space and watch time go by. But I spend everyday thinking about the light that is to come, and the many lights that might.

I am beyond blessed, and contented. 

Anything else is a better idea

There are so many things I want to do at this very moment but there's only one thing that I should be doing. What else but study. As if having a paper on a Saturday wasn't bad enough, I'm not being productive YET AGAIN. Four papers left to conquer but my level of preparation is zero literally zero I can't even begin to comprehend how and why but yes I'm this unprepared I'm horrible I'm going to do so badly for my finals. There there, negativity comes pouring in again, but heck it tonight's just another night that I'm not quite strong enough AGAIN. 

Though I think it's pretty funny how while I seem like I'm typing this entire post with so much rage and frustration, I'm actually just giving a straight face. Inside me I'm just like AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and I really need to get it out of my chest. I wish I could go somewhere quiet and peaceful and lie down and just forget the world for a while. Why do I have to have responsibilities. Why?????????????????????? I don't get it I'm only human I'm only 20 there should be so much more in life for me to do besides studying so why am I studying??? Is it even worth it spending at least 1/4 of your entire life on education I don't know 

I feel like a rolling ball of stress and frustration and rage 

I need to distress so bad. I need to play touch, I want to play touch. I miss girls league '14, I miss the feeling of scoring and assisting tries, the rush running through my veins, the triumphant feeling that nothing can ever replace, the victory that stays with me forever. I miss the feeling of actually feeling like your hard work has paid off, all the blood, sweat and tears haven't been in vain. I miss the feeling of realising that if you truly believe in yourself you can make just anything happen. I miss the feeling of realising that when you want to do something regardless of its difficulty you will still try to make it happen with all of your heart and soul. I miss the feeling of being motivated, being pressured, because right now, all I feel is practically nothing. And anything else is a better idea. 

I miss my student care kids. Helping them with their school work and assessments, testing them spelling, bringing them outdoors and whatnot. Lecturing them when they are in the wrong, trying to get them to shower quickly, and most importantly, watching them grow up slowly. The time spent with them surely wasn't long but it was probably the period where I learnt the most and actually had something to look forward to in life, because these kids, so genuine and innocent, they make me so happy, and safe to be around them. Even though they have their annoying and disrespectful moments ultimately I still remember the best sides of them and the best times with them. I wonder how their final year exams went, whether they are enjoying their school holidays now. Whether they actually think of me at times and remember that I was their student care teacher for a period of time, albeit temporarily. I wish I could dump my responsibilities and just be with them, because anything else is a better idea.

It's such a nostalgic night and as I scroll through my timeline of photos, I realised just how much I've been missing. 

If only I had a time machine so I could rewind time to go through everything again, and fast forward time to get through this period -

because anything else is a better idea. 

Weak

Today I'm just not strong enough.

It's only been a day since I've gone back to hall, and now I'm home again. I suppose exams do actually make people go mad and do the craziest things, like, deciding to go home at 9.15pm in the midst of studying. It's literally travelling from the west to the east. I don't even know how it happened, but it just did. I thought I was strong enough to hang in there till next Friday but recently I've been overwhelmed with so much negativity I couldn't take it myself. In hall, all I get are negative vibes, not from the people, but just in general. It doesn't make me feel happy, or at least.. like I could spend nights there and feel alright about it. I guess it's the exam stress getting to me. And maybe, there could be external factors, but I really can't figure out what it really is. Or what they really are. It's just that all of a sudden, I felt like I had to go home. I wanted to go home. The urge to go home was so strong, so overwhelming. So I packed my bags and I left for home.

I guess I could say that it was a really rash decision, because it's pretty stupid of me to do that... since I'll have to go back to hall again tomorrow, for a paper on Saturday. Well I can spend another night at home, but it would be too rush for me to wake up on a Saturday morning and travel down to NUS for an (early) afternoon paper. But in that moment, I felt so happy. I did feel happy leaving hall. I wanted to be back home, to see my family, to at least do something for my father since I couldn't spend his birthday with him on its actual date due to biz comm stuff. I rushed to Vivo City and tried to get a fruit tart from Fruit Paradise Cafe because he really likes the fruit tarts (and it's healthier as compared to those pastries and cakes) but I was too late, the shop was closing. So I had no choice but to go to BreadTalk, and get a small cake for him. I was lucky enough to get a seat on the crowded train, because I was carrying two bags and my laptop, plus the cake. Thankfully I reached home pretty quickly, considering how far my home is from campus.

Nothing feels better than home. Nothing, really. If there's anything that I've learnt from staying in hall, it's that family really matters so much. I guess it's partially because I'm a very family-oriented person, so it's quite a must for me to go back home at least, once every week. I remember how I was really sad at the beginning when I first moved in, being away from home, not having my mom's home cooked food - but I got over those long ago. I still miss my family a lot, but it gets better. Just that today, it really isn't/wasn't my day. I felt so sad, stressed, and sian and I don't even know why. I wished I knew... but I think, I think, that it's partly also because I realised that as much as I am really glad that JY is finally coming home really soon, the next 11 days or so are going to be the longest 11 days of the entire time that he's gone, because of finals, and all that stressful mugging. Or rather, 9 days, since my last paper is on the 27th. I'm so unprepared, and I'm dreading everything that's going to take place in the course of the next one week. The last time I felt this way, this stressed, was this time, last year, during As. It was the darkest period of my life I would say, and it was probably the worst time of my life - I swore no matter how my grades turned out, I would never retake As. It's the toughest time of any college student's life I believe. And now, 8 months later here I am in university, facing the same issues again. University isn't that hard? I guess it's really just a generic statement. Uni life sure it is fun and less stressful but when the exams come it's like your entire A levels syllabus in 13 weeks. It's crazy. I can't wait for this phase to be over.

November has been one hell of a roller coaster ride, though most of the time I felt like I was just going down, down, down. But there's a saying that when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. I'm desperately seeking positive vibes right now, it sounds so pathetic but I really hope to get through the next one week. When November is over, hell month is over, December will be here! And also, JY will be back. Another thing to look forward to. I can't wait, really.

May the bridges I burn light the way

These days I've been thinking a lot about my life and the events that have taken place thus far; with time, indeed so much has changed, especially when I haven't been noticing it.

I guess some people are meant to cross paths with you, but never to meet again. Some people are meant to be in your lives temporarily, but not forever. A year or two ago, I cried to my mom about a particular friendship. My mom then told me that in life friends come and go, only family will stay throughout your entire life, because blood is thicker than water. 

When I was younger I didn't quite understand the meaning behind this saying. I thought it just sought to put family on a pedestal. I was young and naive then. As I grew older, went through more in life, carved more memories and experiences, I realised that there was so much more to this saying than just "put(ting) family on a pedastal". Have you ever gotten mad at your siblings or parents for doing something that angered or annoyed you? Have you ever fought with your siblings or parents? Yes, we all have. Now ask yourself, have you ever gotten mad at your friends for doing something that angered or annoyed you? Have you ever gotten into a heated argument with your friends? Yes, we all have, too. The difference between these two scenarios is that no matter how bad the fight or argument is, family will always forgive each other wholeheartedly, bearing no grudges, no matter how much you've been hurt in the past by them. But friends don't. There will always be this little grudge clinging on to you, reminding you of the past, hindering the friendship from progressing any further. They forgive, but they don't forget. So can we really say that there is forgiveness, if one were to be unable to forget? Blood, is indeed, thicker than water. 

Of course, I found family in some of my friends too. These are the few that I deem as true friends. I can see them in my life for at least, the next 10 years down the road. Unfortunately, I don't see some in it, as much as I wished to. I really wished they were. 

Some people have never made mistakes all their lives, but who's to say they won't make any mistake now, or in the near future? Some people have been making mistakes all their lives, but who's to say they can't possibly change now, and be a better person in the near future?

But as humans, we are flawed by nature. We are biased, we are judgmental. We believe in what we choose to believe in, we love what we choose to love. And that's exactly why we are flawed. As much as you can tell yourself everyday that you strive to see the best in others - do you, really? In striving to be a better person yourself, don't we all, along the way, put people down? Everyone has a story, we all have a story to tell. We may be trying our best but sometimes it's just not enough - sometimes - it's just too late, unfortunately. 

Now, again. You may think this is just a one-sided opinion, a biased stance. I guess I would say, yes, to a small extent it is, since it's what I believe in, what I feel, what I think. But most importantly, it's what I have experienced. I was deeply hurt by something that someone did, but when you love someone, you naturally forgive that person, no matter how hurt you are. But the thing is, that's when your defense mechanism acts up. It's constantly awake, warning you, keeping you cautious of everything. Now whatever the person says, whatever the person does - you're cautious, you take it with a pinch of salt. You believe, yet you don't quite believe. How ironic, ain't it? Even if the other party is desperately seeking to make amends, trying his or her best to make up for the past - we just don't quite see it. Along the way while they are doing as much good as they can, one simple, minor mistake, can ruin everything, wash away all the good they have done. Am I not right? So how can we say that we see the good in people? Because obviously, we don't. We are flawed, we are only human. We aren't as empathetic, as "good" as we think we are. 

Maybe, just maybe, we should stop putting ourselves on a pedestal, thinking we are always right, thinking we are always at the receiving end. When we victimise ourselves, we only feel worse about ourselves, so what happens to seeing all the good and all the beauty in others? All gone, with the wind. 

Maybe we should take a step back and realise that people who have made mistakes all their lives can change for the better, and people who haven't made mistakes all their lives, can make mistakes, too. It's something I've learnt to live by, and I'm slowly grasping the fact that not everyone will stay in your lives. Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind... they don't matter. Maybe they still matter, but five years down the road, ten years down the road... we'll come to accept it that perhaps, they don't quite matter. It hurts, but we will get over it with time. Time heals all wounds, hopefully. Everyone has a right to have their own opinions, everyone has a right to make their own decisions. So whatever it is, I'll live my life to the fullest from now, and continue to strive to be a better person, daughter, sister, friend, and girlfriend to the people around me. Slow progress is better than no progress at all, isn't it?  

Whatever is present, I'll accept it. Whatever that will happen in the future, I'll embrace it. And whatever is in the past, I'll forgo it. 

May the bridges I burn, light the way.