I guess some people are meant to cross paths with you, but never to meet again. Some people are meant to be in your lives temporarily, but not forever. A year or two ago, I cried to my mom about a particular friendship. My mom then told me that in life friends come and go, only family will stay throughout your entire life, because blood is thicker than water.
When I was younger I didn't quite understand the meaning behind this saying. I thought it just sought to put family on a pedestal. I was young and naive then. As I grew older, went through more in life, carved more memories and experiences, I realised that there was so much more to this saying than just "put(ting) family on a pedastal". Have you ever gotten mad at your siblings or parents for doing something that angered or annoyed you? Have you ever fought with your siblings or parents? Yes, we all have. Now ask yourself, have you ever gotten mad at your friends for doing something that angered or annoyed you? Have you ever gotten into a heated argument with your friends? Yes, we all have, too. The difference between these two scenarios is that no matter how bad the fight or argument is, family will always forgive each other wholeheartedly, bearing no grudges, no matter how much you've been hurt in the past by them. But friends don't. There will always be this little grudge clinging on to you, reminding you of the past, hindering the friendship from progressing any further. They forgive, but they don't forget. So can we really say that there is forgiveness, if one were to be unable to forget? Blood, is indeed, thicker than water.
Of course, I found family in some of my friends too. These are the few that I deem as true friends. I can see them in my life for at least, the next 10 years down the road. Unfortunately, I don't see some in it, as much as I wished to. I really wished they were.
Some people have never made mistakes all their lives, but who's to say they won't make any mistake now, or in the near future? Some people have been making mistakes all their lives, but who's to say they can't possibly change now, and be a better person in the near future?
But as humans, we are flawed by nature. We are biased, we are judgmental. We believe in what we choose to believe in, we love what we choose to love. And that's exactly why we are flawed. As much as you can tell yourself everyday that you strive to see the best in others - do you, really? In striving to be a better person yourself, don't we all, along the way, put people down? Everyone has a story, we all have a story to tell. We may be trying our best but sometimes it's just not enough - sometimes - it's just too late, unfortunately.
Now, again. You may think this is just a one-sided opinion, a biased stance. I guess I would say, yes, to a small extent it is, since it's what I believe in, what I feel, what I think. But most importantly, it's what I have experienced. I was deeply hurt by something that someone did, but when you love someone, you naturally forgive that person, no matter how hurt you are. But the thing is, that's when your defense mechanism acts up. It's constantly awake, warning you, keeping you cautious of everything. Now whatever the person says, whatever the person does - you're cautious, you take it with a pinch of salt. You believe, yet you don't quite believe. How ironic, ain't it? Even if the other party is desperately seeking to make amends, trying his or her best to make up for the past - we just don't quite see it. Along the way while they are doing as much good as they can, one simple, minor mistake, can ruin everything, wash away all the good they have done. Am I not right? So how can we say that we see the good in people? Because obviously, we don't. We are flawed, we are only human. We aren't as empathetic, as "good" as we think we are.
Maybe, just maybe, we should stop putting ourselves on a pedestal, thinking we are always right, thinking we are always at the receiving end. When we victimise ourselves, we only feel worse about ourselves, so what happens to seeing all the good and all the beauty in others? All gone, with the wind.
Maybe we should take a step back and realise that people who have made mistakes all their lives can change for the better, and people who haven't made mistakes all their lives, can make mistakes, too. It's something I've learnt to live by, and I'm slowly grasping the fact that not everyone will stay in your lives. Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind... they don't matter. Maybe they still matter, but five years down the road, ten years down the road... we'll come to accept it that perhaps, they don't quite matter. It hurts, but we will get over it with time. Time heals all wounds, hopefully. Everyone has a right to have their own opinions, everyone has a right to make their own decisions. So whatever it is, I'll live my life to the fullest from now, and continue to strive to be a better person, daughter, sister, friend, and girlfriend to the people around me. Slow progress is better than no progress at all, isn't it?
Whatever is present, I'll accept it. Whatever that will happen in the future, I'll embrace it. And whatever is in the past, I'll forgo it.
May the bridges I burn, light the way.
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